


My Big Fat Doofenshmirtz Wedding

by Kariszma83



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 17:39:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kariszma83/pseuds/Kariszma83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, now all grown up, prepares for her wedding, and so does her dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Big Fat Doofenshmirtz Wedding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mtgat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtgat/gifts).



Vanessa sat on the side of her bed and glanced around her almost empty room. In less than 24 hours she would be marrying Johnny and this room would no longer be hers. She looked at all the remains of her teenage years strewn haphazardly around. Tattered posters from rock shows and movies, photos of friends stuck to every surface. She had packed everything she was taking to her new house, but she still needed to decide what to do with the rest of this stuff.

Something out of place caught her eye. The corner of a sparkly pink photo album stuck out of a drawer. Vanessa pulled it out and chuckled to herself. She remembered when her mom had given this to her for her sixteenth birthday. Vanessa hadn’t added anything to it, so her mom had from time to time grabbed it and slipped pictures into its pages. Vanessa would never let on to her mom just how much she loved that gesture. She opened the pages and flipped through, looking at pictures of herself as a baby, her parents smiling goofily while holding her. That had been before they’d divorced.

She turned the page to see more and more of her at various ages and at various activities. Towards the back she found several pictures of the surprise sixteenth birthday party her dad had thrown for her. Vanessa’s face brightened as she thought of her dad and the insane things he was always doing. She had wanted to bust him so much back then, but it had never worked. That party had made her realize just how much her crazy dad loved her. And it wasn’t like he’d ever get away with any of his schemes – not as long as Perry the Platypus was around.

Vanessa had lost many of the urges she’d had to bust her dad. Her mom simply never saw the truth and that was so frustrating to Vanessa that during her senior year of high school, she took up yoga as a way to calm her mind. Doing that had enabled her to let go of things she couldn’t control. She was her own person. Her dad was his own person, and her mom might simply never see the truth of what her dad was always up to, but Perry did and at least that was something.

A lone photo slipped from the back of the book falling to the floor. Vanessa stooped to pick it up and turned it over. It was a picture of herself with her dad and Perry the Platypus. Vanessa was shocked. When had this picture been taken? At the party for sure, she could see that from the background, but she didn’t remember posing for it.

“If anything,” she thought, “this picture is proof that dad and Perry probably are the best friends they’ve each ever had.”

Things had changed so much since that picture had been taken. Seven years had passed. Vanessa had finished high school and graduated college with a degree in fashion design. She now worked as an environmental fashion designer, finding clothing uses for strange raw materials. She enjoyed the clothing as much as the challenge of using nature in them. She had dated Johnny on and off for several years before realizing that her teen crush had really been more than that from the start – she couldn’t live without this guy beside her, so she had asked him to marry her. He had said yes.

Vanessa inwardly cringed remembering that scene. She had been confident and sure Johnny would say yes. She had picked the perfect spot in the park where they liked to watch the weekend warriors - investment bankers and lawyers who, after a hard week’s work, liked to pretend they were professional athletes and daredevils. She had brought an assortment of their favorite foods and drinks. She had planned what she was going to say down to a tee. She had even practiced. But, when it came time to say it, she froze like a deer in headlights.

“Pull it together, Vanessa!” she scolded herself, “Just open your mouth and say it!”

But she was paralyzed with the fear of the unknown. A question that half an hour ago had seemed to be such an easy one was now so unclear.

Johnny wrapped his arms tighter around Vanessa’s waist. “What’s the matter, babe? You seem awfully jittery today.”

Vanessa sighed, and placed her hand on top of Johnny’s on her waist and squeezed. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

Johnny tensed a little, “Did I do something? Did something happen? You know I love you like crazy, right?”

Vanessa laughed, Johnny’s insecurity actually putting her at ease. She leaned back against him until they were both laying flat on the blanket, then rolled towards him until they were face to face. Vanessa took a deep breath and looked Johnny straight in the eyes.

“I love you more than I ever thought I’d admit to anyone, and I can’t stand to live a day without you in my life. Will you marry me?”

Johnny looked stunned for a second, and a slow smile spread across his lips as a low chuckle escaped.

“You just couldn’t wait for me to ask, could you babe?” Johnny kissed her deeply, then pulled back. “Yes. I’ve been saying ‘yes’ in every kiss I’ve ever given you.”

***

Vanessa closed the album and slipped it into a box to take with her to the new house. As she closed the box, her mom opened the bedroom door.

“All set, sweetie?” she asked.

“Sure, mom. Let’s go.” Vanessa said with a smile.

***

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was muttering in disgust at the moment Perry the Platypus dropped to the floor from the open skylight window.

“What now?” he yelled angrily, “Oh, it’s you Perry the Platypus. I swear I’m not up to anything at the moment. I just can’t get this bowtie to tie right for Vanessa’s wedding tomorrow.”

He looked down at the tie and half-heartedly gave it another try that ended badly. Perry cocked a platypus eyebrow at Doofenshmirtz.

“Ok, ok it’s more than that. I just can’t believe that my little girl is getting married. I’m not ready to let her go. There’s still so many more evil things I wanted to teach her! I should have invented something to stop her from growing up.”

Perry the Platypus put his left hand on his hip and stared at Doofenshmirtz.

“I know, I know! Don’t look at me like that,” Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. “But, I haven’t even gotten her a present yet, and I can’t focus on that until I get this tie tied right!”

Perry climbed on top of the counter and showed Doofenshmirtz how to tie the classic black bowtie.

“Well, thank you, Perry,” said Doofenshmirtz, “but how does a Platypus even know how to tie a bowtie?”

***

The day had arrived, and it was lovely. All the preparations had fallen smoothly into place, and even the weather seemed to cooperate perfectly. Vanessa beamed as she walked down the aisle towards Johnny.

Charlene, Vanessa’s mother, wiped a tear from her eye as she thought, “It’s incredible to see Vanessa show so much emotion. I’m so glad she’s truly happy.”

The ceremony had seemed to fly by, and now Vanessa and Johnny were staring lovingly at each other to pose for pictures. They were trying to get the pictures finished quickly so that the reception could begin, but Vanessa’s dad kept disappearing, and they had to keep waiting for him to show up before they could proceed.

Vanessa whispered to Johnny, “This is getting ridiculous. Where is my dad?”

Johnny turned to answer her, but he was cut off by the running approach of one of his cousins. Out of breath, it took several agonizing minutes to understand what he was trying to say.

“A bunch of ...the guests...disappeared...like..right in front....of our eyes!” he gasped.

The entire bridal party broke into shouts and demands for an explanation or more details. Vanessa caught sight of a greenish blur on the edge of her vision. Turning her head quickly, she saw Perry the Platypus slip into the bushes near the entrance to the reception hall. If Perry was there, that could only mean one thing; her dad was up to some scheme, and on her wedding day!

***

Doofenshmirtz pulled at the bowtie that seemed to be strangling him while he bent over his contraption. For once, everything seemed to be working perfectly. He had even remembered not to put a blatant self-destruct button on the console. Doof smiled to himself as he heard a quiet thump hit the floor behind him. He turned and saw his monotreme nemesis standing there looking suave in his secret agent hat.

“Ah, Perry the Platypus, your timing is flawless as usual - and by flawless, of course I mean COMPLETELY FLAWFUL!” Doofenshmirtz yelled as he pressed a button on the dashboard of the contraption. A small metal cage dropped from the ceiling, landing over Perry and effectively trapping him for the time being. Perry looked at Doof with a bored expression.

“Huh, flawful probably isn’t a word, is it? Oh well, anyway you’ve come at the right time, Perry! I’m just about to launch my new White Weddinginator!” Doofenshmirtz shouted triumphantly, throwing his hands in the air. Perry maintained his bored expression.

In typical fashion, Doofenshmirtz detailed his plan to Perry: “You see I’ve always hated people who wear white to weddings. Only the bride is supposed to wear white, and those people steal her thunder. And today is Vanessa’s big day. No one is going to take that away from her. So, I invented the White Weddinginator. It scans for weddings and after identifying the bride, it eliminates anybody else who showed up in white. It’s the perfect plan, and I must tell you, Perry, honestly I’m surprised that it’s going so well!”

Meanwhile, Perry was using a laser to slice a platypus-sized hole in the bars of the cage. He stepped through and took advantage of Doofenshmirtz’s turned back to take a flying leap. Perry landed on Doof’s back and quickly threw his hands over his eyes. Doofenshmirtz yelled out in surprise, and tripped backwards, falling on the ground. Perry and Doofenshmirtz began to wrestle with each other to try and gain the upper hand.

They both froze at the sound of a siren issuing from the White Weddinginator. Immediately, Perry and Doofenshmirtz let go of each other and jumped to their feet. Doofenshmirtz reached the contraption first and screamed out to Perry.

“This isn’t right! It’s only supposed to target people wearing white to weddings, but now it’s targeting anyone wearing white, and Vanessa is on the list!” Doofenshmirtz yelled, clearly in a panic.

At that moment, Vanessa burst through the door of the temporary hideout, the train of her wedding dress trailing behind her.

“Dad? What the heck is going on? _Why are you ruining my wedding _?” she screamed at him.__

“Vanessa,” Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, the fear genuine in his eyes, “I just wanted to do something wonderful for you, and now it’s all messed up.”

His words trailed off as he looked forlornly at the machine. Perry took the opportunity to attack the machine, typing quickly in the console, looking for a back door in the program to shut it down. The laser, which had been firing consistently out the window, now began a slow rotation into the room that ended with it pointed at Vanessa. Everyone froze in place.

“Dad?” whispered Vanessa.

“VANESSA!” screamed Doofenshmirtz, the horror of the moment finally spurring him into action.

Doofenshmirtz shoved Perry aside and quickly typed the correct code into the machine as the laser took final aim at Vanessa. Vanessa stood frozen in place as the machine began to fire. Perry leapt in and shoved Vanessa to the floor, out of harm’s way. Finally, the code took effect and the ominous beeping slowed dramatically and then stopped.

Doofenshmirtz ran to Vanessa, enveloping her in his arms. “I can’t believe I almost lost you. All I wanted was to try to make your day perfect, but as usual I messed it up.”

“Oh Dad,” sighed Vanessa. “What makes my day perfect is just having you here. I don’t need a fancy present, or an evil contraption. I just need you to be my dad.”

“How did you get so grown up?” Doofenshmirtz puzzled, looking down at his beautiful daughter. “You did it when I wasn’t looking, didn’t you?”

Vanessa laughed and threw her arms around her Dad. “Yep, Dad, it was all part of my evil plan. Now you and Perry come on to my wedding!”

***

The night progressed well. Every guest was returned to their proper state of being, dinner was served and dancing had begun. All the obligatory dances took place and Vanessa found that she truly enjoyed the dance with her dad. He was goofy, bumbling and often misguided, but he was hers, and she loved him.

As the sky darkened, stars shone brighter and brighter with the passing hours. The guests laughed and danced into the wee hours of the morning. Off at a table in the corner, a lone young man with green hair sat staring at the bride with a contemplative look on his face. A low growl met his ear and he turned to see his family’s pet platypus, Perry, beside him.

“Oh, there you are, Perry,” he stated softly. He turned to look at the bride once more, “She’s the one who got away. I suppose there’s always going to be one.” He reached down and scratched the monotreme’s small head as an early morning breeze carried the sounds of laughter through the air.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you iamtheenemy for the wonderful beta-ing. You are awesome.
> 
> Mtgat - I tried to envision a future for Vanessa that was just like an episode of the show. I had so much fun writing it and I hope that you truly enjoy the spin I gave to Vanessa's life. Happy Holidays and Happy Yuletide to you!!!


End file.
